Your emotions don't need to be fixed
Last September, I took a big risk.
I turned down a stable teaching position and I started my own business, one with zero revenue and zero clients.
It’s been just over six months since I made that decision and, today, I want to share with you where I’m at. Or, more specifically, how I’m feeling about it.
Part of me is still scared.
What if I run out of money before I figure out how to provide something valuable enough that it can financially sustain me?
If I don’t, what happens then? Will I be a failure and, if so, how will I deal with that? Who will I be?
I’m scared about what will happen.
You probably recognize this voice: the voice of doubt, worry and fear. I often want it to shut up but, I now realize, it’s only looking out for my survival.
But another part of me is feeling like my fearmonger’s fun-loving and exciting twin:
I’m also feeling super excited.
I’m super excited that, after years of dreaming about it, I’m actually trying to build my own business. Not only am I trying, but I’m actually doing it.
I’m excited to be writing like I have nothing to lose.
I’m excited to be meeting new people, people who see value in what I have to offer.
I’m excited to be creating ideas that only existed in my mind and witness their imperfect materialization.
I’m excited to see what will happen.
The thing is, my voice of fear and my voice of excitement come from the same source. They are just different manifestations of that same energy.
I cannot have one without the other.
And so I’m learning to sit with both, to listen to what they each have to teach me. I don’t have to believe them in everything they say but they are both there to help me, to guide me.
I see that now.
Our emotions are not to be run away from. They’re our friends, trying in their own idiosyncratic ways to tell us what’s important to them.
It’s up to us to invite them in and to listen to them with compassion and curiosity.
What do they have to teach us?
Till next time,
Ben
I’m curious, what emotions are you currently feeling? What are they teaching you?
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