On Starting from Zero
Or why falling down snakes isn't as bad as it seems.
One truth I've been thinking about lately:
Everyone is starting from zero in some aspect of their lives.
Maybe you are right now.
Maybe you're starting again in your professional life after a career change. Maybe you're starting again in your romantic life after a breakup. Maybe you're starting again with healthy living after a wake-up call.
Like playing a game of snakes and ladders, our progress in these things is never linear. It's more a case of two steps forward and one step back.
Sometimes, you just fall down a snake and have to start again.
My story.
That has been the story of my professional life.
Let me illustrate:
Studied Geography at university because it was my favorite subject.
Realised the corporate world a lot of my classmates were entering wasn't for me.
Why snake, hello!
Went back home and did odd jobs.
Felt lost and directionless.
Moved to a new city, got a low-paying job but one that didn't consume all my time.
Made a short film that got me into a post grad program.
Led to a couple of internships in the art world, where I ended up editing a book.
Talked my way into working for a film festival while researching my thesis film.
Met my now wife at the closing party.
Made this short film together, for fun—it went viral.
Built a business based on the exposure we got. Ended up making stuff like this.
Realised that we couldn't juggle a working relationship with our own private one anymore, so we stopped.
Long time no see, snake!
Lost again, except this time, not entirely hopeless.
Got a job as a copywriter in the Tech industry.
Didn't enjoy writing stuff that didn't interest me.
Oh, snake.
Was good at organising so found my way into Project Management.
Got tired of reorganising other people's work loads.
Sssssss…
Had some business sense so moved into Product Management.
Quit because the toxic environment got to me.
…snake?
Changed company and realised the job wasn’t right for me.
I burned out and quit again.
'ello old friend.
Took time to reignite personal interests and started writing this newsletter.
Still figuring out what's next.
The point is, starting again is never easy.
I know.
Starting anew.
Sometimes slipping down the snake is voluntary; other times you're forced down it. But the end result is the same.
You have to begin the hard work of reinventing yourself.
You have to reinvent yourself, both in the eyes of others and, more importantly, within your own.
Who am I?
You have to disentangle ideas of who you are from what you did for a living; from who you were in a relationship with; from the lifestyle that got you sick.
And that’s hard.
In the moment, it’s a challenge that feels insurmountable. It's scary because it feels like there’s no possibility of tomorrow.
What am I going to do?
The silver-lining.
Yet the experience carries with it a silver-lining.
Slipping down the snake is an acknowledgement that you still haven't found what you're looking for.
That you're still on your quest to find what’s fulfilling to you.
And that’s a question really worth answering.
One step back, two steps forward.
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This resonates. I retired last October and closed my handcrafted jewelry business. 2020 I had closed my Reiki teaching & healing practice. Who am I now at 62? This winter I learned graphite drawing but now I feel like I found myself again--on May 1, when I started the writing project that came to me about 22 years ago.
Hey Ben, after checking out the two videos you included in your blog, i got an idea :) we should talk (soon)