Are you being listened to?
The world is so noisy.
Everyone seems to be talking all the time, sharing their opinions, impressions, ideas, complaints or solutions.
And we don’t just do it with our voices.
We post, we text, we comment (or, in my case, we write emails!).
But are you actually being heard?
Is someone on the other end listening to you?
Because that’s what ultimately matters. Behind our need to talk, to express, is our deep human need to be heard.
To be seen and acknowledged.
And, in spite of the media-driven ease with which we can communicate, I have a hunch that we are being listened to less and less.
It’s never been easier to have — or at least have the illusion — of having a platform on which you can stand and share your point of view.
One of Facebook’s early taglines was “Facebook helps you connect and share with the people in your life.”
But did it, and all the other platforms that came after it, really fulfill our need for connection?
For being heard — and for being genuinely seen for who we are?
Interactions become performative, everyone conscious of the image they’re carrying. I hear younger generations are more reluctant to do stupid stuff in front of their friends for fear of being filmed and forever judged.
It reminds me of the Panopticon.
Real feelings are muted, real human energies constrained to hide behind our complex, muddy, stuttering, and unsure selves.
What we need are spaces of listening.
Spaces where we give nonjudgmental attention to another being who is yearning to share something deep within.
To allow them to get it out into the open.
To let it go.
Listening is the ultimate act of love.
Till next time,
Ben
If this resonated, join The Circle — my paid subscriber community — for free.
It’s my version of a space of listening, one where we share and support each other on our challenging journeys of change.
P.S. If you enjoyed this post, here are three more ways I can support you:
From the Archives: Read one of my popular posts.
Join my private community.
Belief is a process. Join The Circle and get the support you need on the challenging journey of change.
Get 1-on-1 Support.
Need somebody to talk to, to gain clarity or figure someone out? Reply to this email and I’ll send you the info to book a call.
I believe that being truly seen is a fundamental psychological need.
Yet these days, as we spend more of our lives on screens or inside our own worries, we drift away from one another. We forget that we belong to a community — a human family where everyone deserves to be loved and seen.
Because of this lack of love and connection, we grow deeply dependent on being seen and heard. We long for spaces where we can truly express ourselves — in a language that feels close to us, whether that is words or art.
But sometimes, all we have is the chance to leave a comment on a Facebook post or someone’s Substack article :)
To look deeply into someone’s eyes and truly see them, or to feel seen and listened in return, with or without words — is something profound. It reaches beyond what we can easily explain, touching something deeper within us.
And when it happens, it can feel almost overwhelming for me — in the most beautiful way — filling with love, gratitude, and a deep sense of connection.
I couldn't agree more. Sometimes I have a feeling that we are just reciting in front of others, or in front of ourselves, to declaritively perform without actually truly being heard. On other occasions, we have so much on our minds that the noise this constant inner buzz creates, is difficult to switch off in order to calm down, hear our own thoughts and those of others. And validation of what we feel, think and dream of is so very important. Thanks for highlighting this crucial aspect of communication and our needs.